HAWAI’I INSIGHTS 6-9-24

Robin and I have been back from Hawai’i for over a week. Time enough to look back on everything that we did and come to a conclusion. I conclude we had an awesome time!

On Friday, May 24, we drove to the north of Oahu again. Our destination was the Polynesian Cultural Center (PCC), in Laie. We spent the day there traveling to six different island centers: Hawai’i, Fiji, Samoa, Tonga, Tahiti, and Aotearoa (New Zealand). Robin and I cheated and rented scooters for the day. We are so glad we did, as we were able to make it to each island center in one day.

Each island center has activities unique to their culture. They also have a show that showcases their particular culture. Our favorite was the Samoan show with Kap (Check out the link to watch!). We learned about the origins of the Hawaiian Shaka, the hand sign they use.

Kap was a solidly built Samoan who split coconuts with one blow from a small rock. He was also the MC for the show, and was absolutely hilarious! The fire knives are especially cool! We watched a young Samoan climb up a 40-foot tall coconut tree, barefoot. Better him than me!

There was a canoe called Iosepa, made in the traditional manner. They are going to be sailing Iosepa this summer, just like their ancestors did centuries ago. This is being done in conjunction with Brigham Young University, which has a campus directly next to the PCC.

After touring the island centers, we had dinner in the Gateway Buffet. The food was really good! Ranger certainly liked it! They also have a traditional luau, but Robin and I decided we were going to the Mauka Warriors Luau on Sunday, so we went with the buffet. After dinner, we went to the Hā: Breath of Life show. They weave a story combining the six cultures, and there is dancing, and of course fire knives!

We reserved a room in Courtyard by Marriott Oahu North Shore, so we checked in and collapsed into bed. Even with the scooters, Robin and I were tuckered out!

The next morning, I got up at 4am, because I’m a moron who follows Manchester United. They played their rivals Manchester City for the Emirates FA Cup Championship a half a world away. It ended up being worth it, as they upset Man City and won, 2-1! We had breakfast, checked out and drove a few miles south to the Kualoa Ranch, near Kāneʻohe. Robin had reserved us a ride on a UTV tour of Jurassic Valley.

Apparently Kualoa Ranch is a private nature reserve, which has served as the site for various movies. Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Jurassic Park and Jurassic World, as well as others. I drove the UTV for the tour. Robin got to ogle the beautiful scenery. I got to ogle Robin. It was all good!

Izak, our tour guide, led the group of UTVs into the beautiful valley. We stopped a several places to be able to take some pictures. The valley was gorgeous. We had mountains on either side of us, and the sea down below. A couple of places had sets that were left behind, creating some interesting photos! Robin saved me from a T-Rex, and We saved Ranger from another T-Rex. Good times.

One of the stories we learned involved Mokoli’i Island, which some people refer to as Chinaman’s Hat. The story is that the Hawaiian goddess Hi’iake killed an evil, giant lizard. Mokoli’i Island is the tip of the lizard’s tail. A ridge framing the valley is the body of the lizard, called Hakipu’u.

When we got back, we had to wash our faces to get the worst of the dust off. We had lunch at the ranch, and did some shopping before driving back to Waikiki. We showered, climbed into bed and crashed. Especially me because, you know, Manchester United,Emirates FA Cup Champions, Baby!

Sunday, we went to the luau mentioned above, the Mauka Warrior’s Luau. It’s a relatively new one, but the reviews were good, and I liked that they were focused on the warrior aspect of the Island Culture. It is located at the Hawaii Country Club. The location is the sacred site of the Battle of Kipapa, where ancient Hawaiian Warriors led by King Mailikukahi defended Oahu from invasion in 1410. The view overlooked the city of Honolulu and Diamond Head. There was a rainbow that evening. The food was great, the dancing was excellent, and I enjoyed a couple of Mai Tais.

The rest of our time was somewhat sedate. We visited Diamond Head State Park, in the crater of the dormant volcano. We traveled back up to the North shore to walk the Banzai Pipeline and other famous beaches, and saw some more green sea turtles. Some teenage locals had an issue with the foreigners being too close to the turtles, and came running up to the group of tourists looking at the turtles, screaming profanities and acting aggressively. They ended up chasing the turtles back out into the ocean with their antics. I told Robin I loved their passion, but their execution needed a lot of work. Teenagers.

We visited the Waimea Valley, a sacred site that housed some rare and endangered tropical flowers. Yes, Robin finally got me into a botanical garden! She promised me that there would be scantily-clad, good-looking women at the waterfall. When we got there, the only beautiful woman was her. I was satisfied with that, yet vaguely troubled that my wife would lie to me to modify my behavior… Robin and I again cheated and used scooters. Don’t judge us!

We visited the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific in the Punchbowl, yet another crater in an extinct volcano. We went on Memorial Day, which was a sight to see with all the American flags marking each grave. Robin’s Uncle Bully and his wife are buried there. So is Ernie Pyle, a fellow Hoosier. They have a memorial garden to those whose remains are known but to God. I found a family member’s name listed there, Ernest W Satterly, who was killed by a kamikaze on the USS Haynesworth off the coast of Okinawa. He was buried at sea.

Wednesday was my 60th birthday. Robin’s cousin Linda and her husband Vince met us for dinner at Hawaii’s best Japanese restaurant Tanaka’s of Tokyo. Linda and Vince were very sweet, and sneakily paid for our dinner. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have ordered the Wagyu steak! It was a wonderful evening.

We then survived the 8 hour flight back home. The following Monday, I got pissed as I saw the news that Kilauea erupted a week after our visit. I’m pretty sure the goddess Pele was just giving us a raspberry.

All in all, it was a wonderful trip! It was a very relaxing trip, and I got to see a lot of neat things.