I’m in Charlotte, North Carolina, where I’ve been for two weeks. I’ve been assessing schools in the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools district, and I have a couple of weeks to go. I had a Skyrizi injection for my Crohn’s Disease on Thursday, and yesterday I had a day of very low energy and cold-like symptoms. Nothing like feeling like crap far from home.
My schedule is pretty hectic. I get up between 5:00 am and 5:30 am every morning. I’ll go to a high school to assess their weapons screening process (Yes, that’s actually a thing.), or I’ll start by assessing a school’s student arrival. At each school, I interview the administrators and conduct scenario assessments. I walk around and take a bunch of pictures and identify areas the school might be able to improvise the safety and security of everybody in the building. I’ll do two schools a day, sometimes three elementary schools a day. I definitely get my steps in.
When I get back to my AirBnB, I record the results of the interviews and scenario assessments, prepare for the next day, eat dinner, do a Welsh lesson or two, and go to bed between 9:00 pm and 10:00 pm. Over the weekends, I work on the reports. We generate a 45-60 page report for each school, complete with pictures. The report is generated by the information we enter into an online tool, but the process can be pain-staking, and generally it slowly turns my brain into oatmeal. I did not think it possible, but I can feel my soul slowly draining out of my body as I work on the reports. But I do them because they help schools to improve their safety and security. I do them because schools are great and wonderful places in a sick, twisted world, and I want them to continue to be great and wonderful places.
That brings me to my topic today. my low energy forced me away from my reports and gave me something I haven’t had in awhile, down time. I spent some of that on social media. If anything, social media steals more of my soul than report-writing, with none of the benefits. It’s easy, after a half hour on X (formerly known as Twitter), to think the world is going to Hell in a hand basket. Social media is designed to provide you with dopamine hits, while ramping up your anxiety. It’s an endless loop of breaking you down and building you up, and it sometimes leaves me feeling like I need a shower.
It’s easy to get overwhelmed with negativity, and sometimes I wonder what I can do in the face of this onslaught. Dr. Jordan Peterson once said that when you want to change the world, start by cleaning your room. For society that is our family. We, as a society, are in the midst of a prolonged period in which we have been prodded and prompted to do other things than support our families.
In today’s society, words are malleable, so let me define my terms. A family is people related either by blood or law. It forms the basis for society. The purpose of the family is to maintain the well-being of its members and therefore of society. Families offer structure and safety as members mature and learn to participate in the community. So that is family, to me. The fact I have to define it is a symptom of the societal rot we face, but so be it.
I started with my birth family. Maw, Paw, Shelly and Tom. Grandma Green, Maw’s mum, and Grandma and Grandpa Satterly, Paw’s mom and dad. I got married to Robin and started my own family, but never left my birth family, Robin is my wife of nearly 35 years. Jessica is my oldest, Carole is my youngest. Jessica got married to Christian, and they’ve had two sons, Roman and Stevie. Jessica, Christian and the Devilish Duo live with Robin and I. Maw and Paw have passed, but Shelly and Tom are still with me. Tom and his wife Jen, and their two children are part of my family. Shelly had a son, Jarod. Jarod married Emily. Shelly’s divorced. Tom had a son, Thomas, from a previous marriage. I never said families are pristine.
Ain’t a one of us perfect, by any stretch, but come Hell or high water we are family. I know there were times Maw and Paw weren’t proud of me, but I was still their son. I know there were times Robin wasn’t proud of me, but I was still her husband. They set standards I’ve tried to live up to. Sometimes, as Inigo Montoya said, I “more studied than pursued” those standards, but they were always there. I hope I have set those standards for my children, and I hope Jessica sets those standards for her two hellions. That’s what families are for. Tom has tried to live by Maw and Paw’s standards, as has Shelly. I know they’ve passed those on to their progeny.
Know right from wrong. Try to do right, and when you do wrong, own up to it, learn from it and get better. Don’t be a dick. You are no better than anyone else. Leave places better than they were before you got there.
Yes, large swaths of our country are going to shit. I don’t have the wherewithal to do anything about that. I ain’t running for President, or for any office. But I can try to take care of my family. I can love them, set high standards, and help them live up to them. I can try to live up to those standards myself. It’s all I have control over.
Clean your room, love your family. It’s all any of us can do. If we do that, our country will benefit, and it will sort itself out.
Meditations of a Bald, Fat Guy 