MEMORY

How does the human brain store memories? How do the sensory inputs, and our thoughts, get stored? I am of the age that I struggle, at times, to remember why I went into the kitchen. Alzheimer’s can dominate the news at times. How does the disease work? How realistic was 50 First Dates?

The human brain is a fascinating organ. A bio-chemical network that is used to communicate, form abstract thoughts, store memories, and helps us interact with the physical world, and the bio-chemical networks of others.

Sometimes my memories of my childhood are fuzzy. I couldn’t tell you who my first grade teacher was, or what I did for my 10th birthday. Sometimes the memories can be quite clear. My previous story of my grandfather, fishing with Paw, the bullying I was subjected to, my first girlfriend, and so on.

So what goes into a memory? Certainly our sensory inputs; sights, smells, tastes, touches, emotions. Mine are weaker in that I don’t have a sense of smell, and that affects my taste as well. For awhile as a child, my sense of hearing was so awful I was labeled as “retarded” in school. It was bad enough to affect my speech, and I still have a bit of a lisp today. I vividly remember waking ups from the surgery to put tubes in my ears, and hearing the cacophony of sounds all around me that I had been missing. I will say that, while I am sure Robin may think differently at times, I am far from “retarded”.

There are certainly other considerations. My sister, brother and I will often remember the same event differently. My brother describes a situation in his book All Secure in which I, his big brother, intervened when he and his friends were being bullied. He remembers me being a bad hombre who strolled in, took charge of the situation, and protected his little brother. I barely remember the incident at all. What I recall from my childhood was frequently getting my ass kicked. I do remember standing up for my little brother, but I was often writing checks my tiny, scrawny body couldn’t cash. What I can say is that if that incident was able to, in some small way, make my little brother into the God-honest badass who earned a Silver Star in some shithole named Somalia as dramatized in Blackhawk Down, then I will take the win. We can’t know everything he did to make America safer, but you can bet your bottom dollar we’re safer, and he is still playing the price for that.

But how did two people in the same incident have different memories? Surely the sensory inputs were similar? Of course, the points of view were different. Perhaps we’re back to the bio-chemical network. Somehow, in the midst of the chaos of that moment, Tom’s brain formed thoughts out of thin air, applied them to the sensory inputs he received in that moments and his brain assigned a priority to the incident that got seared into his brain. Maybe it is like the Disney movie Inside/Out. Tom’s Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness applied themselves to generate the memory, and then deposited it into his long-term memory. That, in turn, motivated him to join the Army, then Delta Squadron, then unleash Hell upon himself and the enemy for 20 years.

I don’t know. I’m not a neuroscientist, nor did I sleep in a Holiday Inn Express last night. I just know that I have good memories, and bad memories. They all make me who I am today. I also know that I do often go into a room then stop, searching my brain for why I went there. I know that sometimes I tell Robin I will do something, then forget to do it. Or maybe I just didn’t want to do it. Or maybe…

Where was I going with this?