OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

Saturday morning found us waking up a bit later, as we didn’t have a plane to catch for the first time in five days. We shambled to the hotel’s restaurant like zombies from the Walking Dead. I’m just glad that Rick Grimes didn’t pop up to shoot us in the head with his trusty .357 Magnum. We discovered that the hotel served a breakfast buffet. Robin and I like choices, and the hotel served hot coffee, so for a short while life was good.

Our plan for the day was to visit the Tower of London, possibly the London Eye, and to meet with Dylan Gwinn. I had met with Dylan online while working on a project for Safe Havens International. He was always very nice, professional, and had a wealth of knowledge on safety. He is a former police officer and had been stabbed several times. I was very much hoping I could meet him in person. Through social media messaging, we arranged a meet at a pub called the Harp on London’s West End for Saturday night.

Over breakfast, we planned out our path to the Tower. This involved another foray into the Tube, London’s subway system. At least this time we wouldn’t have luggage with us. Once we had our transportation plan in place, it was time sent out.

The Tower of London is located on the Thames River adjacent to London Bridge. I was wanting to see the Tower itself, see the Beefeaters, the Guards of the Tower, and check out the dungeons and torture devices, possibly similar to what I used as a middle school Assistant Principal. Robin just wanted to see the Crown Jewels, probably to get me to work some more so she could get similar, if not more expensive, jewelry. Given that one of the diamonds was over 500 carats (That is NOT a typo!), she may have a long wait.

The Tower of London was fascinating. We joined in a part of a guided tour, led by one of the Yeoman Warders, also known as Beefeaters. All Yeoman Warders are prior service, military parlance for those who have served in the military. They also had to have attained the rank of Sergeant Major in their military branch. They also go through a thorough vetting process. The Yeoman Warder we were with was funny and informative. Always a good characteristic in a tour guide.

We started out in the western moat, then moved into the interior. We saw the Traitor’s Gate, the river entrance to the Tower. We saw the rookery where the Ravens are kept. We saw the White Tower, in the middle of the castle. At the beginning, Robin and I were given wristbands, The Warder who gave us the bands said that we could use them to go to the front of the line, especially at the Crown Jewels. Robin thought they said “except for the Crown Jewels”. Keeping in mind the near-death experience I had in Manchester, I wasn’t going to argue the point, so we got into the long line. The line actually moved fairly quickly, so 20-25 minutes later, we finally entered the building.

One thing we noticed outside were two Fusiliers in dress uniforms posted with loaded assault rifles. It’s kind of hard to protect the Crown Jewels with unloaded rifles, but that’s a discussion for another time. While we were in line, they had a Changing of the Guard, just at a lesser scale than seen at Buckingham Palace.

When we got to the head of the line, the Warder there saw our wristbands, and informed us we could have come straight to the head of the line. Robin was suitably mortified, but the weather was nice, and the line moved quickly, so no worries. I tried to avoid an elaborate “I told you so”. Since I am still alive to post this blog, I must have been successful. For those of you who might think I fear my wife, you would be right. Like the Lord Almighty, she can be benevolent and kind, but her Wrath is terrible. I think,l privately, that we should unleash her against the Chinese. I’m just saying,

Many of the Crown Jewels were gone, as they were being prepped for the upcoming coronation of King Charles III. What they had there was stunning. As a full-blooded American, I’m not keen on monarchies, but the scepters, orbs and crowns were fascinating and beautiful. The approximate net worth of the Crown Jewels is $4 billion, although they are technically priceless. They are not insured, so they have never been officially appraised.

After seeing the Crown Jewels, we took a short break to get some refreshment, then took a walk through the Royal Fusilier Museum. These men are studs, even by American standards. The number of Victoria Crosses awarded to member so this unit are truly embody the best of British manhood. If you are reading this and are asking about women, gender-binary, gender-neutral or unicorns, please know that when they are awarded the Victoria Cross, they will truly embody the best of British _____. That’s kind of how that works.

From the Tower, we walked along the Thames for a bit, did a little shopping in the Tower of London Gift Shop, and then hopped a bus to St. Paul’s Cathedral. Our daughter Carole had visited years ago, and had purchased a small, stuffed pigeon from their Mary Poppins Collection. Apparently there was a scene in the movie featuring Julie Andrews on the steps of the Cathedral feeding some pigeons. She had lost it, and asked Robin to see if they still sold them, and if so, purchase a replacement for her. Well now, Robin had a mission.

We got off the bus, stopped at a visitor center across the street from the Cathedral, and a woman there told us there was a gift shop under the Cathedral that may have what we were looking for. Robin, energized by the prospect of being able to make her youngest child happy skipped across the road to find the gift shop. Well, figuratively speaking, she skipped. We actually sort of ambled and limped our way along.

We got down to the gift shop, located in the basement of the Cathedral, and looked around. Success! My daughter’s trip was five or so years ago, but they were still selling those stuffed pigeons! Operation Stuffed Pigeon was a rousing success. I swear to you, in the basement of the Cathedral, sunlight appeared over Robin and shone down upon her, and an angelic choir sang hosannas. I am beginning to wonder what the hell is going on above my wife’s head that all these weather patterns keep appearing. At least I don’t have to waste time wondering what she’s thinking.

Our next step was to go meet Dylan. We got onto the right bus, and a few minutes later we were back in the West End, where we watched the play. The Harp was about a block away, then we got a text from Dylan that the Harp might be a bit full, and asked if we could meet down the street at a Pret Manger. No worries, we altered course and enter the Pret Manger, a kind fast food/convenience store and met Dylan.

Meeting Dylan was like the rest of trip to the UK thus far. It met and exceeded our expectations. We talked with Dylan for awhile. He showed us pictures of his adorable son, and we showed him pictures of our adorable (if somewhat impish) grandsons. We talked shop a bit and even had a moment when a person carrying a weapon entered the store. I had my back to the door, which was somewhat unusual, but I trusted Dylan to watch my back. I saw him tense as he alerted to the threat, then I tensed when he walked into my line of vision. He was showing several clear signs that he was carrying a hidden weapon, but did not seem to be set on causing any trouble, at least not there. All Robin knew was that all of a sudden the two men she was with were tense, She has learned a little about weapons detection from me, but she is not often in a position to practice what she learned.

We had a wonderful chat with Dylan, then he was off to be with his wife and son, and Robin and I looked for a place to eat. We settled on an Italian place called Bella Italia and ordered a pizza. It was a meat pizza that included a drizzle of honey. You read that right. Honey. It was delicious! We then headed back to the hotel. Next stop, Conwy, Wales!